Bull@%!#
While these missions aren't actually in FrontierVille, you'll probably wish they were after taking a look at a few of them. A friend and fan of FrontierVille Info, Alexander Cain, employed some Photoshop magic to the standard FrontierVille Goal window for some gut-splitting albeit potentially offensive parodies of the game. Take Cain's first mission, "Bull@%!#," for example. It's description reads, "Trying to sort through all of the connection problems, begging requests, missed quests, crashes and overpriced decorations is sure a load of you-know-what! See if you can come up with a load of you-know-what on your own!"
To complete the Goal, you would fittingly enough have to collect 10 Meadow Muffins, sell 20 Adult Oxen and buy 10 Shovels. Another funny Mission, titled "Quit Arson Around," is described as, "Suspicious fires have been popping up all around your frontier lately; no one seems to know who is responsible. Maybe if you bought more Horseshoes, these things wouldn't happen." Thankfully, Zynga isn't that vindictive, but if they were at least we happen to have the tools to put them out.
Some of the more potentially offensive Missions include "Alone at Last," which reads, "A nice neighbor has taken the kids off your hands for the evening, leaving just you and your spouse. Search your homestead and your heart for some appropriate items for both fun AND pleasure," and "Cruci-fix'un!" We'll leave that last Goal to your imaginations, but check out the original post for even better laughs.
Showing posts with label missions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label missions. Show all posts
Friday, January 13, 2012
Mafia Wars 50,000 Feet Mission: Everything you need to know
While Challenge Missions in Mafia Wars normally take us to new locales, the sixth mission in the series, "50,000 Feet," will take us mobsters far above any location we've ever been to. This new Mission spanning three Chapters will only be around for another five days, so you better get to hijacking those planes and those three new Mastery items before you're out of time. And we want to help make that happen.
Check behind the break for our detailed guide on how to finish 50,000 Feet within the next 120 hours.
50,000 Feet Home Screen
To access this special event, find it under the Travel drop down box as if you're traveling to another location. This is where you can always find the Mission should you have to close the game. Thankfully, 50,000 Feet doesn't require players to recruit a new member to start the event nor is each Chapter locked behind a timer--just complete the first Chapter to access the next.
Reserve ChuteLike other Challenge Missions, a special item will be required to complete each job, which in this case is the Reserve Chute. You can collect up to 12 Reserve Chutes right from the Mission menu every 12 hours (depending on what Chapter you're on), but you'll probably need more sources of this item if you want to finish in time considering a total of 311 Reserve Chutes are required to finish the Mission. While it's not required, you'll be granted three extra Reserve Chutes for recruiting a new mafia member up to seven slots available. Better yet, Reserve Chutes are available in the Free Gifts page, so send away to complete these Jobs in good time.
Again, there is a Job Heat Meter that will increase as you complete Jobs, but unlike other Challenge Missions, this meter will only increase the Energy required to complete each Job and not the amount of Reserve Chutes needed. The Job Heat Meter will reset every eight hours , but don't push it--the meter will rest back to eight hours if you do a Job before it resets completely.
Mach-4 Halo Wingsuit Laser Rifle Prototype
Mastering each Job in a Chapter will reward players with one Skill Point and mastering all three will unlock the coveted Mastery Item. Here are all three Mastery Items for Chapters One, Two and Three:
Chapter 1: Mach-4 (Attack 66 Defense 48)
Chapter 2: HALO Wingsuit (Attack 88 Defense 51)
Chapter 3: Laser Rifle Prototype (Attack 114 Defense 63)
And there you have it. Since recruiting new players has been seriously downplayed this time around, gifting is essentially the fastest way to get this Challenge Mission completed in time. However, don't ignore the seven available Recruit slots as that's also a good source of 21 more Reserve Chutes. So, get back to gifting, respect that Job Heat Meter and you should nab that Laser Rifle Prototype in no time. Well, at least in five days, right?
Check behind the break for our detailed guide on how to finish 50,000 Feet within the next 120 hours.
50,000 Feet Home Screen
To access this special event, find it under the Travel drop down box as if you're traveling to another location. This is where you can always find the Mission should you have to close the game. Thankfully, 50,000 Feet doesn't require players to recruit a new member to start the event nor is each Chapter locked behind a timer--just complete the first Chapter to access the next.
Reserve ChuteLike other Challenge Missions, a special item will be required to complete each job, which in this case is the Reserve Chute. You can collect up to 12 Reserve Chutes right from the Mission menu every 12 hours (depending on what Chapter you're on), but you'll probably need more sources of this item if you want to finish in time considering a total of 311 Reserve Chutes are required to finish the Mission. While it's not required, you'll be granted three extra Reserve Chutes for recruiting a new mafia member up to seven slots available. Better yet, Reserve Chutes are available in the Free Gifts page, so send away to complete these Jobs in good time.
Again, there is a Job Heat Meter that will increase as you complete Jobs, but unlike other Challenge Missions, this meter will only increase the Energy required to complete each Job and not the amount of Reserve Chutes needed. The Job Heat Meter will reset every eight hours , but don't push it--the meter will rest back to eight hours if you do a Job before it resets completely.
Mach-4 Halo Wingsuit Laser Rifle Prototype
Mastering each Job in a Chapter will reward players with one Skill Point and mastering all three will unlock the coveted Mastery Item. Here are all three Mastery Items for Chapters One, Two and Three:
Chapter 1: Mach-4 (Attack 66 Defense 48)
Chapter 2: HALO Wingsuit (Attack 88 Defense 51)
Chapter 3: Laser Rifle Prototype (Attack 114 Defense 63)
And there you have it. Since recruiting new players has been seriously downplayed this time around, gifting is essentially the fastest way to get this Challenge Mission completed in time. However, don't ignore the seven available Recruit slots as that's also a good source of 21 more Reserve Chutes. So, get back to gifting, respect that Job Heat Meter and you should nab that Laser Rifle Prototype in no time. Well, at least in five days, right?
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